It wasnt to be...

Ok, so i am out this month AGAIN!

Grrrr, i can normally tell about a week before AF anyway that she is on her way, i can "feel" her messing about with my insides! She really is evil!

Started spotting yesterday at 12dpo, and of course i was still hopefull, and althoughi  am still only spotting today, a realistic look at our semen tests kinda told me to get a true grip on reality girl and focus on treatment not naturelle!!! OH AND THE BFN ON A P TEST KIND OF TOLD ME TOO LOL! It is so sad, to think that i will never get pregnant naturally, and there is no guarantee either that treatment will work for me - i could cry and cry and cry.... But i wont, i need to be strong! But... i still dont have p pains... 13dpo i am usually a cripple by now in pain.... hmmmm, this may be down to the fact that i took asprin from end of last period to now, which is supposed to make your ovaries more affective and your womb a nicer place to burrow into... maybe i wont get such bad p pain because the blood is better layered and less clotty? (which it usually is).... we will see i guess!

So i am off to Wiltshire today to see a specialist about laser hair removal - one of the symptoms of PCOS, I have had to grow my facial hair for 2 whole weeks, and baring in mind i normally remove it every 3 or 4 days and pluck the odd one daily its been a total struggle for me!! I cant wait to get out the hospital and pluck pluck pluck! I have been walking around work with my face burrowed into jumpers and with a hand casually draped across my mouth and moustach area when i chat - could i be any more obvious?!

Luckily the fertility unit we will be using is at this hospital too, so i can drop our referral letter in at the same time which is useful.... i am really scared about this whole thing.... like really. I feel sick just thinking about it.

Talk later

FH x