It's been some time!

I have been somewhat reluctant to blog of late due to the need to grab my own mind space and chill out for a while.

My last entries were all about anticipation with regards to our first consultation, but the outcome of that changed dramatically. The clinic had never been what i would call "top notch" from the start.They gave an awful open evening, and really kept us waiting for our first appointment, which considering we were paying private was a bit of a surprise and not what we expected, but we "went with the flow" all the same. That said, they were attached to a hospital which meant that overall, the cost would be greatly reduced to that of a totally private  clinic. We had considered a private clinic but the costs were about £1500 more expensive, and whilst they looked amazing it was just a bit too much for us to cope with financially.

I think our wait was about 8 or 9 weeks just for a consultation appointment. I had certainly put alot of energy into getting myself to the point of "treatment" in my mind, so the appointment was a big thing for us to plan and the wait was a bit a a struggle, but we got to the date all the same.

So, we turn up on the day to be told that the doctor is running very much over, and there was even a couple still waiting to go in before us. DH just found this all too much (he was preparing to do a sample too), and on reflection while we waited we decided to just walk away (there was arguing too). Weirdly it felt really good to do this, and as we walked back to the car i felt a load off, and i felt really empowered to have made the decision to just walk away because "it didn't feel right" to use this clinic.... i think we knew it all along but we were just doing it for the wrong reasons - cheaper....

So after a couple weeks "cooling off" we looked at our ideal clinic that i mentioned above... i called.... they told us to come in 2 weeks - a hell of lot different to 9 weeks! They said DH can do his sample at home and bring it in - (no stage fright to worry about), and they sent a pot in the post, and the paperwork is just a different universe compared to the old place.... now it may sound odd that paperwork makes you feel better lol but the professional quality of it, just made it all feel right...

So that's where we are.... 18th Oct here we come! Excuse the pun. Still doesnt stop me imagining a miracle pregnancy in the meantime! I am still temping and dreaming those little spermies to my eggs! Although the last few weeks i wonder if part of the problem is me too what with PCOS and all, but the docs say its the sperm as a result of vas reversal....i guess we will know more soon...

On a plus side, we got the chance to see and meet our favourite band "barenaked ladies" on their UK tour so we are very happy bunnies at the moment... if you have never seen these guys... DO IT!!!

I hope you are all happy and healthy on this roller coaster ride!

Stay hopeful

FH X